Another year, another try

Hello, 2019.

This year I resolve that I will imagine I walk up to the image of the person my brain shows me I could be and look at this potentially fulfilled potential of mine, shake my head and say 'not happening'.

I will still drink and stay up till stupid hours of the morning with people who make me feel alive. 

I will still take every 'you cunt' as a compliment. 

I will still have multiple 'to-do' lists longer than 'done' lists and my only daily affirmation will be 'well done, you have made it through the day'. 

I will still aim to confuse and amuse and frustrate those brave enough to get close to me.

I will still have days when I just want to curl up with a pile of books and evenings when anxiety wins and nights when I wander by myself down quiet streets of Edinburgh.

I will still forget to reply to your messages, be honest until your feelings bleed and suddenly pop up online to continue that conversation we paused three months earlier.

I will still do what I want and wander away from expectations.

This year I resolve to not bother, once again, with those expected New Year's resolutions that no one keeps. Who's with me?

Hello, 2019.