Sunday 25 February 2018

A schedule for the week


Monday:

Child: School day.


Adult: Hell, no.


Freelancers' version: Hell no, I don't have enough work scheduled for this week, I will surely starve under a bridge... oh, hello email.  (On repeat all day.)




Tuesday:


Child: School day.


Adult: The day when things go right, just to lull you into a false sense of security.


Freelancers' version: I-still-don't-have-enough-work < deep breath > scheduled-for-this-week < deep breath > I-will-surely-starve-under-a-bridge... oh, hello email. (On repeat all day.)




Wednesday:


Child: School day.


Adult: Hump day, halfway to the weekend. Don't make eye contact with others and you might just survive this week.


Freelancers' version: The day when most people contact you with jobs and projects, all with the same date and time and deadline, so that you can watch all the money that you will not earn, thanks to not being able to split in two, disappear into distance.




Thursday:


Child: School day.


Adult: The day of sod's law - when things go wrong because you only have today and tomorrow to fix everything. 


Freelancers version: The day when you decide to finish at 4 pm and give yourself a screen free afternoon, only to discover at 8 pm that you have received fifteen urgent emails between 4 and 5pm.




Friday:


Child: School day.


Adult: Hell, yeah. Weekend starts now. Let the drinking and related shenanigans begin!


Freelancers version: ...if I manage to get this project done by 6pm i can still go out... what, how is it 6pm already? I'm still going out, i can work on Sunday.




Saturday:


Child: Not a school day.


Adult: The day of waking up late, looking around at all the cleaning/ hoovering/ washing/ etc. that needs doing and quickly making plans to get out of the house. It's very easy to find accomplices on Saturday.


Freelancers version: Putting phone on silent first thing in the morning, only to check it every fifteen minutes all weekend anyway.




Sunday:


Child: Not a school day.


Adult: The day of waking up even later, actually doing housework and spending the last few hours of the day in a huff for not really having had time for yourself this weekend.


Freelancers version: Emergency call outs that you can't refuse, as they are paid at double your standard rate, or more. Projects you consciously abandoned on Friday, finished at 11pm on Sunday night. Slump into sleep.




(Note: The adult here is obviously childless.)



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