Just yesterday I had an argument with a hospital elevator. For a good five minutes (and five minutes is a long time when you're stuck in a 4m by 4m by 6m box, that's clearly considering dropping you to the ground from 6th floor) I would press 'G' button and the elevator would happily go up and announce '6th floor, ward 13', no, 'G', '5th floor, ward 12' nooo, 'G'! '5th floor...' It only got bored after some other people got in but I'm not going back to that hospital unless I have to.
Automatic checkouts. A few times after feeding them with two handfuls of penny change (as it is a fun thing to do when there's a line of people waiting behind you hehe) I got a full handful of the same coins back as my change... and the amount of times they sulk and require assistance for no reason is unreal. I even got asked for ID to buy glue! Not Superglue, that you apparently need ID to buy these days, just normal paper-gluing glue. Spiteful little things.
Computers, mobiles, printers develop a nasty personality after being around me for too long and throw tantrums over nothing. Especially computers. They crash, blue screen and stroll slowly through brain check routine on startup them even though you switched everything off properly and refuse to perform certain operations for no reason. Yes, a real life computer says no. Awesome.
My mobile only allows me to open certain websites and even that after extensive negotiations. When it gets cranky it will 'forget' to let me know about new emails and eat through the battery like a starving hamster even though it's not doing much apart from lying in my pocket and, hopefully, monitoring emails. Voicemail just switches itself off the moment I'm finished with its setup. I'm clearly not allowed too much human interaction at all.
Oh ay, a lightbulb exploded a couple of times after I walked into a room and switched the light on. Literally, in shards.
So, should I go on a plane next week or maybe getting a horse drawn carriage would be a better idea?
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